The Real Reason Women Fake Orgasms—And It’s Not What You Think

May 4, 2025

We talk a lot about men feeling pressure to perform in bed. What we rarely talk about is how that same pressure messes with women—emotionally, mentally, and sexually.

According to a recent ZipHealth survey of 1,000 heterosexual women, 78% said they’ve been with a partner who struggled with sexual performance anxiety—and the fallout doesn’t just affect him.

💔 It’s Not About Pleasure—It’s About Peacekeeping

Women aren’t faking it to spice things up. They’re faking it to keep the peace.

• 65% said they’ve changed how they act during sex just to avoid hurting a man’s feelings.

• 1 in 3 admitted to faking an orgasm just to dodge awkwardness.

• 28% chose to avoid the conversation entirely.

• 19% said that when they did try to talk about it, they got gaslighted—dismissed, blamed, or told they were imagining things.

👩‍🦱 “Is It Me?”—When Sex Becomes Self-Doubt

It’s not just about the orgasm. It’s about how it feels to fake one:

• Nearly half of the women blamed themselves the first time performance issues came up.

• 25% said it made them feel less attractive.

Instead of voicing what they need, women are shrinking themselves—over-accommodating, downplaying desire, and sometimes skipping sex altogether to avoid bruising a fragile ego.

📺 Porn and the Pressure to Perform

59% of women said porn had warped their partner’s sexual expectations. Unrealistic performance standards, exaggerated reactions, and instant erections aren’t just fiction—they’re feeding anxiety and killing communication.

And when men shut down, women often become the emotional caretakers—again.

🤫 Most Women Stay Quiet—And Stay Anyway

Despite the pressure, 91% of women stayed in those relationships.

• Some reassured their partners.

• Others emphasized emotional connection over performance.

• Many simply didn’t make it a big deal, pretending nothing was wrong.

Only 22% felt truly comfortable discussing the issue.

🛏️ Adults Villa’s Take

Until men get more comfortable confronting their own sexual insecurities, women will keep carrying the weight—emotionally, mentally, and yes, on top.

Faking orgasms isn’t empowering. It’s exhausting. And if we want better sex (and real orgasms), it starts with real conversations.