Friends with Benefits: How Does It Work?

The concept of "friends with benefits" (FWB) can mean different things to different people, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It typically refers to a friendship that includes a physical or sexual component, but that’s kept separate from any romantic commitment. For some, it means casual sex, while for others, it can just mean cuddling, holding hands, or sharing intimate moments without the expectation of sex.

Since you’re more comfortable with physical affection like cuddling or hand-holding, it’s important to communicate that clearly. You can avoid confusion by discussing the specific activities you’re interested in, instead of using the term "friends with benefits," which is often associated with sex. A more direct and clear way to ask could be: “How would you feel about holding hands sometimes or cuddling while watching movies together?” This makes it clear that you’re looking for intimacy, but not necessarily sex.

To make sure you’re both on the same page, ask your friend how they feel about physical intimacy in your friendship. Since you’ve both discussed the topic of friends with benefits before, it might not be surprising for them to hear you bring it up as a possibility for your relationship.

It’s also important to be aware of their feelings. If they’re not comfortable with the idea, it’s important to respect that. Good friends can handle open, honest conversations about shifting the dynamic of the relationship, but ensure you make it clear that you’re open to hearing their thoughts and feelings.

Remember, a friends with benefits arrangement can look very different for each person, so there’s no right or wrong way to approach it, as long as both people are clear and comfortable with what’s being proposed. Be honest, specific, and respectful, and you’ll set the stage for a positive and understanding conversation.

Good luck!